


hisoka the homerecker

by britanniaangel



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Cheating, Heartbreak, M/M, Revenge, Sex Toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:49:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23892610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/britanniaangel/pseuds/britanniaangel
Summary: illumi awakes to a mysterious noise
Relationships: Hisoka/Illumi Zoldyck, Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight
Comments: 28
Kudos: 66





	hisoka the homerecker

**Author's Note:**

> this has been rotting in my google doc since i was like 18 so i decided to release it into the world

It was around 4:20am when Illumi heard strange noises coming from the kitchen. He knew that Hisoka sometimes liked to wake up and make a protein shake so he decided to ignore whatever was going on. However, there was something about this that made Illumi suspicious. He decided to go with his gut and see what his lover was up to. He slipped on his slippers and tiptoed down the hall to the kitchen. 

Hisoka was making a protein shake, but not in a way that Illumi was expecting him to. There, laying on th kitchen table was Hisoka. He had his cock buried deep into a blender full of what appeared to be a strawberry protein shake. He used his fat manhood to slosh around the blender’s contents, making a low guttural noise of pleasure. Illumi stood there and watched in horror for a few seconds before he decided to take action.

"HISOKA!" Illumi bellowed. He took off his bedroom slipper and threw it at Hisoka as hard as he could. "HOW DARE YOU?! HOW DARE YOU CHEAT ON ME WITH THAT- THAT HARLOT!"

"Illumi, babe let me explain," HIsoka said, thick tears forming in his eyes. He turned around to Illumi and gave him the saddest look he could muster. "Please this is just a one time thing! It's an accident!"

"It sure as fuck doesn't look like an accident!" 

In anger, Illumi storme d over to the table. He noticed that the blender was plugged up and decided to take revenge on Hisoka. He flipped the blender switch on. Strawberry protein shake was flung around the room as Hisoka’s dick was destroyed. He desperately tried to turn the blender off but the switch was stuck. 

Hisoka began to scream so loud that the neighbours heard him. In the house next door, Leorio was awoken by the shrill noise. He sat up in bed and turned the light on. Next to him Kurapika began to stir, shielding himself from the bright light.

"What was that?" Leorio asked. "Kurapika, did you hear that scream?"

"It was probably Hisoka," Kurapika muttered in his sleep. 

"Do you think we should see if he's okay?"

"No, he deserves whatever's going on. Now will you go back to bed, dear?"

"You're right honey. Good night, Kurapika."

Leorio laid back down in the bed and snuggled up to Kurapika, giving him a small smooch on the forehead. The two of them ignored the clown's screams of pain for the rest of the night.


End file.
